Why vow?


Why did I get married is a 2007 American film written and directed by Tyler Perry which tells the story of the trials and tribulations of the marriages of four couples. Why did I get married too is the 2010 follow up where we see the four struggling to save their marriages once again on their annual marriage retreat while each of them has their own physical, emotional, mental or emotional battle to fight.  These two movies are a must see whether you’re married or not. You get to see the love, drama, tears, secrecy and humour that plays out in these four couples’ marriages.

On page 424 of the Episcopal Book of Common Prayer, 1979 it is written that “The union of husband and wife in heart, body and mind is intended by God for their mutual joy; for the help and comfort given one another in prosperity and adversity, and when it is God’s will, for procreation of children and their nurture in the knowledge and love of the Lord. Therefore marriage is not to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly, but reverently and deliberately and in accordance with the purpose for which it was instituted by God”.

We’ve seen people getting married for all different reasons but marrying for love is the least of those reasons. If people don’t get married for money and social status, they’ll get married because of the birth of a child which is the wrong foundation for a marriage.

The very definition of “marriage” is being debated but what we know is that marriage is suppose to be lifelong not temporary, pure without adultery, faithful without abandonment, love without hate and it’s suppose to be fruitful not futile.
The question is, why did you get married or why do you wish to get married?

If we get married because we want to find a soul mate, someone who will complete us then we’re setting ourselves up for disappointment. No human being who is an inhabitant of this world and is of flesh can complete you, only God can complete a person. No person can live up to God, we all have imperfections – all we need to teach ourselves is to say “you’re perfectly imperfect for me”. If we go into  marriage with happiness as the primary goal then as soon as happiness seems to fade we will be heading for the divorce court. If receiving love is the primary goal of us getting married then immediately our spouse’s attention gets disturbed by the simplest thing as work we will dump our spouse and jump to the next one. We should marry to experience the love of the Higher Being or God through our spouse. We should make our  marriages the santuary of unconditional love.

We should get married to strengthen those who are weak, to fall forward and not backward and to love the other as you would love yourself. We must also get married to pray for each other everyday – “Lord how can I love my spouse today like she/he has never been loved before and never will be loved like that?”

Marry a person not only for what they are but for what they make you to be when you’re with them and marry them not only for what they’ve made of themselves but for what they’re making of you.


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