Black Romance 


Romance is the expressive and pleasurable feeling from an emotional attraction towards another person associated with love. Some express their love with a bunch of roses and for others it`ll be a romantic getaway – but for others an act of love is a way of life, a never ending journey and they`re forever trying to captivate the heart of their significant other; it`s just a part of their nature, a manner of upbringing or just a general attitude towards life. Here are the 5 most romantic nationalities around the world:

1. The Italians (anything about Italians is romantic – they`re backed up by their beautiful nature, fantastic food and wine, their rich history and melodious language).
2. The French (the French know the language of love, they`re seduction gods and goddesses, they love life, gourmet food, chocolate and wine).
3. The Brazilians (the Brazilians are open about sex and their sensuality can be sensed in their samba dance).
4. The Spanish (the Spanish are lively, charming and hot and they definitely know all the secrets of seduction).
5. The Argentine (the Argentine have a lot of passion and the perfect expression of their romanticism is found in their tango dance, arguably the world`s most sensuous dance).

Then we throw the Lebanese, American, Swedish, Irish and Indian in the mix. The question is where are the Black nations among the romantics and the passionate?

There`s a belief or stereotype in society that suggests that Black people are unaffectionate, some have proven it to be true and others have tried to bust the “myth” but the impression society gets from the way most Black couples portray themselves is that they need a manual to love the next person especially a spouse who they don`t bear any biological relation to. In those days before technology, boys in African culture were raised with the notion that “men don`t cry”, in turn those boys matured into cold men who thought that it was emasculating to communicate their feelings; on the other hand girls were raised to only depend on a man for survival that`s how many Black women were thought to be “gold-diggers” because some did indeed put that teaching into practice. What`s unfortunate is that till to this day some parents are still raising their children the very same way their grandmothers were raised.

For some people it was a privilege and to others it is still a privilege to be raised by their biological parents, the Black family norm is that parents for different reasons will send off their kids to their parents (grandparents) to live with their many other cousins. A child living in such a setting doesn`t get the necessary attention and love and thus they grow up being “love deprived” turning them into love detached individuals because there`s a group of them running around an elderly couples home and they can`t all get hugs, kisses and the much needed and meaningful “I love you”. Very few individuals who were raised by grandparents turn out to being loving and caring individuals like the few people who were raised in a nuclear family and were taught to love and grew up knowing how to love.

For a majority of Black people especially women a relationship that is free of drama where her partner doesn`t hit her and where bickering isn`t a norm that relationship or marriage isn`t a real one – their parents didn`t teach them in their formative years that a person who loves them would never hurt them, physically or emotionally. A love relationship that carries weight for them is that one which a man gets his way with her and then apologizes with money.

When men meet a less dramatic Black sister who is mellow and overflows with love they immediately think that it`s too good to be true – it`s either he`ll flee from the relationship or marriage after a short period of being together or he`ll start playing mind games with such a woman and take advantage of her loving nature. Some women when they meet and date a Black brother who’ll call her 4 times a day, they think he’s possessive – for once can you set your conspiracy theories aside and just strike while the iron is still hot, enjoy being loved for all the right reasons.

Learn to hug and smile; and practice to say “I`m sorry”, “Thank you” and “I love you” – it`s not a European thing it`s the healthy habits of people who are affectionate.

Allow me to sign off by writing this “We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honour the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness and affection. Love is not something we give or get; it is something that we nurture and grow, a connection that can only be cultivated between two people when it exists within each one of them – we can only love others as much as we love ourselves. Shame, blame, disrespect, betrayal and the withholding of affection damages the roots from which love grows. Love can only survive these injuries if they are acknowledged, healed and rare”.