Holy texts prescribe that we should forgive people 77 x 7 times and they also say that forgiveness is a sign of love. Forgiveness sounds good and looks good on paper but in reality it’s only about accepting the situation and making peace with it no matter how painful it is. The only Being who can exclusively forgive trespasses is God – He’s the only ones who knows our heart’s intentions.
Forgiveness only exists if the person you wronged can no longer recall what you did to them – other than that because of a person’s inability to easily forget, complete forgiveness is almost impossible. What makes forgiveness even more difficult to grant to someone is that you don’t know what lies in their hearts – can the same heart that had dark intentions to hurt you be the same heart which a sincere apology comes from?
Forgiveness takes time, it takes willingness and it takes great emotional maturity for it to happen without any setbacks. Forgiving someone is about allowing them to redeem themselves, it is about reinstating trust, it’s about you the offended finding peace and it is about getting life back on track. How do you get your life back on track, find peace, learn to trust again and believe a person has changed after you’ve been raped?
We all know that forgiveness is the best and the right thing to do especially for ourselves but sometimes it seems like asking a lot from a person when we advise them to forgive and forget.
So the best advise is don’t drink poison and expect your offender to die – just take your time to comprehend the situation that has put you in a compromising position, then find the best way to make peace with the reality.